Called.

"What do you plan to do?"

"Are you going to be a pastor?"

"Why am I EVEN doing this?"

"Why now?"

Fair questions. Questions I ask myself, questions asked of me.

Before I explore those questions and ever so slowly launch this new blog space, it's fitting to honor where I've been.

This blog is intended to chronicle a new chapter in my life. The previous chapter Mini-Van Mega-Fun (2006-2015) was an archive of motherhood and housewifery in the trenches of babies, toddlerhood, school days, and generally being a 30-something. My last post built a bridge that brought us here. 

The here is "Called to Care" - From Mini-Van to Ministry. This space is where I hope to collect reflections on mid-life living & learning. My toddlers have grown into a tween, a teen, and adults and their momma is now a seminary student. Well, that's the short story.

As I enter the second semester of my second year of studies at Calvin Theological Seminary, I feel so grateful, but a clean and clear calling is still a work in progress. What I am learning is --  that's okay. 

For most of my life, I understood that a bonafide call to ministry included (required?) a watershed experience. After all, isn't crystal clarity important?  I think about the Biblical canon's greatest missionary, Paul. Persecution was on his breath as he traveled to Damascus. The Lord Jesus himself stopped Saul in his tracks and while he was still on the ground, there was this exchange:

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied.

“Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”                              Acts 9:5-6

When I first read this passage, I thought, "well, it doesn't get more compelling than the presence of the Lord of the universe! Game over, Saul. You are now a "chosen instrument to proclaim the Lord's name"
Any questions?"

But through a slower re-read, verse 6 speaks deeply to me in this season:

“Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

Although Saul was converted in this watershed moment, he was now blind and only given simple instructions:

GET UP
GO.
LISTEN.

Jesus didn't give Saul a syllabus. But he did require obedience. 

This past semester, one of the objectives for a course I completed had this aim in mind:

"develop tools to articulate the student's own sense of calling and of the ministry settings surrounding them"

More specifically, we began to answer the question: "Who has Jesus redeemed me to be as a leader in His Kingdom? 

Just when I thought I had questioned enough (and answered, for that matter) my mid-life return to academia, we had to spend an entire semester exploring it! But I was strangely sure, borderline cocky even, knowing that by December 5, I would be well-directed and defined. Certainly, I would submit my final project confident that my calling and context were locked in. Merry Christmas, pour me an eggnog!

In the next series of posts, I'd hope to share my own GET UP, GO, LISTEN moments, mostly told through my life's narrative. Sometimes vocational calling becomes clear through one life-changing experience. But sometimes, as in my case - calling develops through a life of change. 

I'll end with new answers to the questions that began this post:

"What do you plan to do?"
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

"Are you going to be a pastor?"
At this time, I am pursuing a Master of Arts in Christian Leadership/Pastoral Care

"Why am I EVEN doing this?"
Obedience.

"Why now?"
For such a time as this.